Before I get on with the next installment, I wanted to react/respond to all the new traffic being driven to my ramblings. For the most part, the people who read this know me in real life. But after a few entries about kidlessness, I’ve been getting lots of new eyeballs on this blog. Shucks! And welcome! However, I have a confession. Yes, I have DISQUS on this site to enable comments, but *long pause* I won’t read them. I have no tolerance for comment section vitriol, and about 99% of the things people respond with are just to tell the writer why he/she is wrong or why he/she should die a slow, lonesome death. I can see the first line of a reblog from someone who wrote something like “Here’s why you should care about the word childfree vs. childless”. For real? Did I not say in my last blog that you are not to waste your keystrokes on that subject? Did I not preemptively tell you to stuff it? Bah. I know not reading and responding to comments is no way to build a following, but this blog isn’t my day job, and it never will be.
So I link this to my personal Facebook, and I respond to the comments made by people I know in real life. And if I don’t know you in real life? Well nice to meet you, and I’m happy you’re reading. But I’m not 20; I’m 37. What does that mean? Like Judge Judy says, I’m cooked. My opinions are formed, and you won’t change them. If you’re here to appeal to my compassionate side, please first try appealing to Big Foot, the Locke Ness Monster, or that guy who woke up in a tub of ice with his kidney missing.
(None of those things exist.) Blogging onward…
Childfree Bingo. It’s a thing. Thanks to KidfreeAndLovinIt.com for the Bingo card!
"Who will take care of you when you’re older?"
It’s the response I hear most frequently and by a large margin. My response?
Look here, you deluded pain in the ass: You didn’t have kids for the eldercare. No one did. This isn’t 1873 when you had to spawn yourself a son to till the fields when your husband’s back gives out. Granted, as someone who has never wanted one, I have no idea why anyone has kids. I can only assume you did so to have a little extension of yourself to mold. Or maybe because you wanted something to do with your time. Or maybe you didn’t mean to have one at all. Who knows. But I guarantee you didn’t wake up one day and say “I’m going to need someone to change my Poise pad when I’m older. I better make a baby.”
I’d also like to point out that there are these places called “Nursing Homes”. They are filled with elderly people who require hands-on care. And these people have kids. Grown kids. Grown kids who are not taking care of them. Some of you reading this may have parents who receive care that you are not currently providing. Or funding! Your argument is invalid.
If you don’t understand why I don’t want kids, that’s ok. It’s ok! If it makes you uncomfortable because you don’t have a response when I tell you I’m not having any, that’s ok too. But do not come at me with your sloppy logic.
I’ve had to add to this post after it was initially completed. After my first anti-kid post about how people won’t get off my damn back about not wanting kids, a lot of my mom friends pointed out that if I did have kids, idiots would still find something else to be on my case about. Good point. It’s nice to know that if I did have a kid, other moms who hardly know me would tell me I’m doing it all wrong. So when you hear something completely boneheaded like “Have a kid to take care of you!” or “Having an only child makes you a monster!”, let it serve as a gentle reminder to be a little less douchey to others.
All forms of media seem to be in the business of getting people riled up over things that aren’t happening. Like Miley and her twerking. Everyone in the media had a field day, and all the former Disney kid did was dance like a whore on television. That happens every day. If I knew what station MTV was on, I’d turn it on right now and bet there’d be a young broad shaking her ass in hopes of fame.
What is it today? Well a brown woman won Ms. America! I know! Huge deal, right? I mean, the first Ms. America pageant I remember watching was won by Vanessa Williams, but let’s all pretend that a non-white woman winning this pointless contest is a big deal.
But oh no! People on Twitter and in the comments section on various Internet pages were mean to her! They said she wasn’t American. They called her an Arab. Oh what a horrid, hateful society the media says I live in! I read many an article and many an angry Facebook post telling me how horrible these people on the Internet were. One small thing: I didn’t see anyone being horrible.
No one I know said anything negative about this woman. No one I follow tweeted anything bad. I didn’t see or hear anyone anywhere say anything offensive about this woman. But CNN told us it happened, so every person I know who is related to someone born in India is now outraged. Maybe they really did see or hear people say horrible, racist things about this gal. But I’d ask them all to think long and hard about whether or not they really saw anything, or if they just saw the media tell them to be outraged. And so they complied.
Look, maybe people did see nasty shit written about this chick all over the web. I didn’t. And isn’t that what counts? My friends & family on social media didn’t make racist comments. Everyone in my circle knows that someone born in New York is an American. I read the comments section of the CNN article. All I saw was people being outraged. Just as CNN told them to be. Quite obedient of them, really.
Also, I didn’t see CNN cite a source other than to say people “on Twitter”. While we weren’t looking, what used to be considered “legitimate” media is taking its news from people whose profiles refer to themselves as mommy bloggers, gamers, and foodies. Oy.
If you feel compelled to start citing places on the Internet where you saw hatred towards this woman with your own eyes, stop. You’ve missed the point of my rant. You probably aren’t surrounded by hateful, racist, ignorant people in your every day life. The media just likes to tell us we are. People with a mic would like us to believe we are a horrible, intolerant society. I don’t know people like that. And if you did wake up to a news feed filled with nasty comments from people you call friends, then I just might call you stupid for keeping such company. Virtual or not.