Chicks are Stupid

In the past month, I’ve heard the word “vitriol” used to describe something at least three times.  Funny part is it was the same thing: People who leave comments on the Internet.

I can safely say that not only have I never left a nastygram on an article, video, or blog post, but I’ve never even wanted to.  And believe me; I’ve disagreed with a whole slew of shit on the Internet.  I can’t even wrap my brain around what motivates someone to click the “comment” button just to sound off.  But when it comes to Internet comments, the nasty ones are really the only ones.  And when stupid chicks decide to let their opinions be known, it manifests in just a couple of ways.

Way One: Since the chick leaving the comment usually doesn’t have the nerve to engage in a battle of the wits or to articulate her point in a non-pissed off way, she usually attacks spelling and grammar.  I happen to be a big fan of correct spelling and proper grammar, but I’ve never in the history of the Internet left a comment somewhere just to mock typos or grammar.  If I disagree with what I read, I’m moving on.  I’m not staying to post “Oh yeah, well maybe you should learn the difference between their, there, and they’re!”    And I also know the difference between a typo and a spelling error.  Tihs is a typo; not a spelling error.  

Way Two:  A classic stupid chick move is to state that the author isn’t entitled to his/her opinion by writing a sternly worded paragraph that starts with “Um,” and ends with “Just sayin”.  It looks a little something like this: “Um, who are you to criticize?  You’re not an expert. Just sayin.”  A fun game I like to play when I see “Just sayin” is to replace it with “I’m a giant cunt.”  Because that’s exactly how it sounds.  And keep in mind people are entitled to their opinions, and you’re entitled to go read something that doesn’t piss you off. Just sayin’. 

Way Three:  When a chick wants to land one where it hurts, she throws an insecurity punch to the kidneys.  What do I mean?  For the most part, the chick will call the author fat or ugly.  The angry moms featured on STFU, Parents will call the author barren.  Dave Ramsey’s Twitter feed is usually loaded with comments about how he was particularly “Un-Christian” that day. It looks like this: “Um, you’re probably just jealous of Lady Gaga because you’re fat, and he’s famous. Just sayin.”  I’d like to state here for all to see that 99% of the time when a chick calls another chick fat/ugly, it’s because she’s insecure about her own weight/unattractiveness.  That type of mud slinging is bred solely from the stupid chick’s own insecurities.

If you ever do read the comments section of any blog or article, it will have a handful of nice comments before it starts with the vitriol.  Those leaving the comments will attack the author first then they’ll start in on each other.  Try as I may to explain how these people look to the rest of the world I just can’t do a better job than SNL:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/284937/saturday-night-live-internet-comments-talk-show

“The Portrayal of Women as Cranky-Ass Bitches in the Media” would be a great name for a broadcasting dissertation.

We can all name many a TV show featuring a frustrated wife and mother married to a bumbling oaf of a husband.  It’s kinda been the sitcom formula for the last 15 years.  Hubs is usually fat and stupid; wifey is usually cute and cranky.  So yes, it sells.  But I don’t like it. 

That being said, there is a trend right now that pisses me off even more than the oaf/bitch sitcom combo.  It’s the buffoon husband and pissed-off wife combo I see in almost every commercial on TV.  For starters:

Wife thinks hubs needs more fiber.  But hubs refuses to eat fiber.  And he doesn’t even know that he actually is eating fiber.  This one is not so bad, but it still annoys me.  This next one annoys me a little more:

This one starts out super cute.  The little boy creates a presentation stating why he needs a dog.  It’s adorable, and mom and dad oblige.  Then dad uses this same technique and creates a presentation about why he needs to play golf on Sundays.  Mom blows him off.  This annoys me in two ways:  For starters, why does a grown man needs permission to play golf?  Where are the commercials where a grown woman asks permission to go to pilates, and her husband responds with an eye-roll?  And second, why does she say no?  What’s with women not letting their husbands golf? 

But the worst of the lot is this one:

The bitch wife in this one actually says she should’ve married someone else because she thinks her husband spent too much on a phone plan!  I can’t think of anything better to say here than, well, not funny.  Telling your husband you shouldn’t have married him is quite the opposite of funny; it’s mean. 

In addition to the negative portrayal on TV shows and commercials, we’re also being portrayed as crazy man-traps via the cake topper. 

Not cute; sad.  Do women really think it clever to imply that they had to drag the guy to the altar on the day of the wedding? 

I really don’t take offense to much, and even I agree that there are some bat-shit crazy broads out there (wrote about it!), but I’m curious to know if the cranky-bitch wife character that is almost the norm on TV bothers anyone else.  When I call out stupid chicks, I do so knowing I’m not talking about 100% of women.  I’m talking about the handful of crazies, the handful of crankies, and the handful of haters.  Unfortunately for women on TV, I can’t think of many (ok any) shows that feature a husband and wife who cherish one another.  I miss Cliff & Claire. 

Thoughts?