Chicks are Stupid

Month

March 2012

1 post

Single Chicks who are Planning Their Weddings

Hooray!  There is a new trend in chick stupidity!  And it’s being driven by social media.  Oh ladies, thank goodness you continue to provide me with material. 

The local radio guys were taking calls this week from women who were planning their wedding on Pinterest. 

Stupid?  No.  But these women weren’t engaged. 

Stupid? We’re getting there.  These women didn’t even have boyfriends. 

Stupid?  Unless I can come up with a stronger word to describe stupidity, then yes, stupid. 

I was going to rant fantastic about how these women don’t even know whether or not shabby chic or mason jars will be in by the time some fool marries them, but then I realized that would only be funny to those of us on Pinterest.  So instead I’ll rant regular about how your desperate singleness begets desperate singleness. 

(Please read the following aloud while screaming)

Seriously gals?  You realize you’re stockpiling ideas for a wedding reception that you’ll have with a guy you haven’t met yet?  I sure hope you didn’t look in the mirror this morning and wonder why you’re still single.  Because that, and the wedding dress you’ve got adhered to the vision board near your mirror, might just be a reason.  Oh, and next time you’re on a date with a new potential fiancé, I just dare ya to lead with “So I was picking out wedding cakes on Pinterest today” and see if that guy would even be willing to receive oral from you.  Was all that a little too harsh sounding?  Let me put it plainly: You sound fucking insane. And if you’ve already bought the dress, I want you 5150ed.

I tell people the true test of whether or not you’ve found the right person to marry is if you’d be willing to do it without the wedding.  Chill out, I’m not saying you have to.  But would you if that’s what he wanted?  Or if you got a gold band instead of a large diamond?  *Gasp!*  Just think about why you want to get married.  Is it possible you just want the wedding and not the husband?

For the record, I fucking love that mason jars are in.

Mar 29, 20121 note
#chicks are stupid #pinterest #mason jars
Next page →
2012 2013
  • January 1
  • February
  • March
  • April 1
  • May 3
  • June
  • July
  • August
  • September
  • October
  • November
  • December
2011 2012 2013
  • January
  • February 2
  • March 1
  • April 1
  • May 2
  • June 2
  • July 1
  • August 1
  • September 1
  • October 1
  • November 1
  • December
2011 2012
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June 2
  • July 6
  • August 2
  • September 1
  • October 4
  • November 4
  • December 2